Tuesday, June 14, 2011



I have a father.
He’s not the sugar-coated father
we see on the 1990s tv shows,
but he’s here, he didn’t leave me, us.
He was physically present
even though he was emotionally absent.
He took care of his parents, his wife, his kids
while working not 1, not 2, but 3 jobs!
I was jealous of the time he put into his jobs and not me,
but despite my selfishness, I’m proud of him.

I know many people don’t have them.
Their father died, lied, cheated, mistreated,
have a mental illness, addiction, and so forth.
A father may or may not be the cause
of the proper development of a young man.
I know of a man who is successful without his father.
I know of another man with both parents, and is just as successful.
I look up to them both. They are grown men in their mid to late 20s.
Like Steve Harvey said, when a man knows who he is, what he does,
and how much he makes, he will be ready to settle down.
Their wives and children will be more than lucky to have them.

 I was going to have a child
with someone who didn’t want one.
He made a little bit more than me [$],
but he wasn’t ready for the responsibility.
He wasn’t a mature man; so can I blame him?
I did anyway; blamed him for losing my baby
when it was my body that rejected it.
Every time I looked at his face, I remembered
what I went through when I knew I was pregnant.
After it died, I fought back tears every time
I saw a pregnant woman and a little boy or girl.
I didn't want to stay with someone like that.
He had a father but it’s like he didn’t have one.

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