Friday, November 30, 2012

The One that Stood Me Up After a Death...

I lay in my bed crying remembering the times you were here and I felt important. Since your absence, I have felt empty and zombie-like. I remember you holding me in your arms when I felt unwanted and worthless. I remember you carressing my body with your soft hands and making me feel alive. I remember your rapid breath and heartbeat as you fell asleep in front of me. When I looked into your eyes in the morning, afternoon, and night, I would find pieces of myself in you.

I long for that mutual connection but I doubt I'll get it and be treated nicely at the same time. You said you liked me yet played me and got a girlfriend. My ex came back for me and I went cuz I was hurt and obviously still in love with him even though he had became cold towards the end of our relationship. You knew I was bi-polar, but he didn't, and he deserved a second chance at figuring me out and loving me for me.

It's "amazing" (one of your words) how it's been a year and I still see images of you through people in public. I've seen your frizzy curly hair, your light brown eyes, your raggedy facial hair, your bummy style of dressing. I took double takes to see if it was really you, but it wasn't. They were strangers, just like you have become to me. It's like you never existed and my reality hurts knowing you won't bless me with your presence ever again. You have gone with the wind. You're like all the rest; the only way I'll see you is in my dreams, which as I wake, is a terrible feeling.

P.S. I don't miss your lonely late night texts. As a matter of fact, I ignore everyone who texts me at night.

No comments:

Post a Comment